Saturday, September 19, 2009

Decisions, decisions...

So, I've really been stressing over a decision the past few days. And I have to make a lot of decisions when it comes to Harlie. And none of them have been easy. Even when you think it should be. It isn't.

She was invited to a preschool classmate's birthday party. Yes, you read that right. And I've gone back and forth over to take her, or not to take her. Which, I know may seem completely ridiculous. But, I have issues. I've never been a very outgoing person. For those who know me, stop laughing. Seriously. I'm quite shy. And social engagements where I don't know people very well stress me out. I play like I'm totally fine and comfy and all, but I'm not. And it is hard work to look fine when you're stressing out!

And Harlie's only been at school for two days! What if the other kids don't want to play with her at the party? What if she feels uncomfortable? And I don't know most of the other kids or their moms, yet. Are they going to be uncomfortable with me and Harlie? Will they talk to me? Again, I know this may seem ridiculous - but I feel this way based on past experiences. That were not positive. And I don't know if I'm ready for this! To expose myself to new people and risk getting hurt. Even though Harlie isn't very aware of the stares or weirdness from other people right now, I feel it for her.

And the whole sitting to eat cake and drink a juice box is so awkward. I wonder when she'll look around and realize that everyone else is eating cake and she isn't. And I wonder if she'll care. I'm thinking she won't. She's that independent.

But, maybe going will help her classmates to get to know her - and her them. Maybe they'll see that she's a typical little girl, who likes to goof off, just like them. Maybe they'll figure out some way to communicate with each other if they get some extra time to play together.

So, I need to get over my fears. And not transfer them to Harlie. And let her have fun with her peers. And I need to give other people a chance. So, thanks to a nice nudge from a friend of mine, we're going. And we're going to have fun.



B-Mama said...

Christy, you are an inspiration--to your daughter, to the world around you, and to the strangers you'll meet at a birthday party. Two minutes with you and Harlie and they are going to love you both. I'm so glad you decided to go... Great decision!!

Janis said...

The only reason I wouldn't go is because of the germs & flu stuff...otherwise I think it is great to go and test the waters. I hope you have fun. For Austin I would say he is more motivated to eat around other hopefully Harlie will try it too.

Beverley said...

So glad you are going. Remember a lot of play at this is is still parallel, so it is not going to be too terrible if various kiddos are off doing something different when everyone else is attempting to play a party game.


Kim Edwards said...

We are all so proud of you and Harley. Anyone that has ever been brave had to be afraid first. Bravery is overcoming fear. I believe you are very brave and are proving it just one more time. I think it would be a wonderful opportunity if the kids in Harlie's class could learn some signs so they could communicate with her. It would be something Harlie could give them that they could carry throughout their lives. What a wonderful gift.

Allie said...

Go. You'll be fine once you get through the front door.

Sue Mitchell said...

I'm glad you're going. I have no doubt that Harlie will have a great time because she does seem to be such an independent little gal. And, she will be your ice breaker (although I do have a hard time thinking of you as shy!)

I can't wait to read about your experience. By the way, I loved the picture of Cooper asleep in his high chair. So sweet!

Heather said...

did you go? did you have fun? why didn't I get Murphy and Cooper? so many questions! I really hope it was a good time- for you and for Harlie.