Thursday, April 9, 2009

I'm Fine.

Just in case you were worried... I'm fine. Really. Still a bit stressed, but I'm feeling better than last week, so that's good. I've had a couple of nights out with good friends, just getting some good quality time in before we leave. So, that's been wonderful. Sometimes, there's no better cure than good "girl" time. I feel so loved and supported. And lucky.

I kind of feel like Harlie is stressed, too. She's been crying more than usual. I know that might sound odd - she's two after fall. But, really she doesn't cry much. And she's been clingy. And that's really odd. She is certainly not a clingy girl. I can't help but wonder if she feels it, too. And I wonder what she's heard me say. I forget that she can understand me. And I don't really know how much she understands. It is easy to underestimate a child who doesn't "talk." And that makes me wonder what Murphy is feeling. In all likelihood, he's heard me talk about it. In fact, just the other day, out of no where, he said that he misses Harlie when she goes to the hospital. Just rip my heart out will ya? I know we'll have to talk to him. To try to prepare him. Help him understand. But I'm in no hurry to do so.

The nurse practitioner called Wednesday to talk about the details of her surgery. Tell me where to be and when, what to bring, etc. She was very nice. Seemed very sensitive. And she read Harlie's history before calling me. I liked her instantly! There were times during the conversation that I had to hold back the tears. Like when she asked me if her siblings would be visiting her. She said that she knew that I would want to see them, too. It was just weird. To think of her brothers "visiting" her. And me missing them and having to see them in a "visiting" situation, instead of our home. I know this is all temporary. Just temporary discomfort. And that helps.

I have so much more I want to say. But it is late, so I'll have to talk more later. I have pictures and good posts. Really! So, more will be coming this weekend.

Thank you to all who commented, called, e-mailed, etc. regarding my last post. You might not know it, but that makes a difference to me. A big difference. In a good way. So, thank you!


Rene said...

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better. I agree that Harlie is feeling the stress too. She may not know why she's stressed or what over, but kids pick up on little stuff.

I have heard that the Fontan is the hardest surgery on the kids because they're old enough to understand what is going on. I know the hospital has been "home away from home", but that doesn't make it any easier.

Lots of hugs coming your way. I will be watching for updates and holding your hand across the miles. Plus, we know Tommy is hanging out making sure Harlie is going to be okay. He's got it in with the Big Man Upstairs.

Tracy said...

Glad to hear your feeling a little bit better. I know sometimes we just get caught up with all the medical stuff and working so hard at keeping our girls healthy that we forget about ourselves in the midst of it all.
Harlie maybe feeling your stress too. Maggie is the same age as Harlie and I've noticed when I'm stressed those are the days she is the most "whiniest". Being a mom to 4 girls , the older they get the more they pick up on that.
I know when Maggie is starting to feel stressed those are the moments I just pick her up and we go lay on our bed and cuddle. It helps a little. Or I just try really hard to stop what I am doing and read her a book or go for a walk.

I pray that Miss Harlie's surgery goes well.