Thursday, June 2, 2011

Karin

I was hoping to be able to get some updates posted.  But tonight I heard of a fellow trach mom's passing.  And I'm a little thrown off balance.

She just gave birth to her second child yesterday.  And less than 12 hours later she suffered an amniotic fluid embolism and was not expected to live more than a few hours.  Since I haven't heard that she officially passed away - I find part of me wanting to believe that somehow she pulled through.  But with that event, I don't think that's a possibility.

I'm still in shock.  A birth carries so much hope for the future.  It just feels so wrong to have this happen.  Sadly enough, I'm used to hearing about babies/children passing away.  And trust me when I say I've thought about that - and fear it - from a personal standpoint more than a mother should.  But a Mama passing away?  Right after giving birth?  I don't know.  It just seems that a parent is better apt to deal with the pain of losing a child than a child losing their parent at such a young age.  I suppose both situations suck beyond belief.  No need to compare.  It's just not what I'm used to.

So heartbreaking.

I met Karin a few years ago.  Well, I guess I "met" her years before that on our trach support board.  Her son was trached for a few years.  And her son and Harlie have the same ENT in DC.  They live in Northern Virginia.  One day when Harlie was having surgery, I met her and her husband in the surgical waiting room.  Her son was having a bronch, and was decannulated by then if memory serves.  Her son will be turning four this month.

So heartbreaking.  Just can't get over it.

So, that's why I can't post an update tonight.  I do have so much to tell you.  I promise it's coming soon.

Please keep Karin's family in your prayers.  I just heard that she passed away at 8:33pm.  And I just can't stop thinking of her almost four year old who must be so confused right now.

Thank you,
~Christy

7 comments:

Ann said...

It's times like this that I wish we all lived closer to each other. Right about now I could use a group hug and a stiff drink with my trachy moms. It's so sad.

Brittany said...

I'm so, so sorry to hear about Karin's death - how very sad for her that she won't see her children grow and how very sad for them that they will grow up without her.

Grandma said...

Oh Christy, I am so sad for you and Karin's family. I cannot even put into words the feelings I have. Why? 2 little children to take care of..why? I can only pray that God has a plan and he will watch over this family and take care of all their needs, both emotional and physical. Her family will be in my prayers along with you and yours.

Kristen said...

Christy, I don't even know Karin but I feel devastated and so saddened hearing this news. Likewise, I just keep picturing that little 4 year old boy and I am in tears. So very sad. If you hear of anything that would be helpful to Karin's husband please let us all know (either now or down the road). I suspect your "Life Since Harlie" community may want to help in some way.

Take care of yourself too....Thinking of you....

Janis said...

As I mentioned the other night...I'm still reeling from this news. I don't even know how to put it into words. I worry for Alex so much, expecting a mama and a baby to come home -- just so sad.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I wish that God would make clear his plans for us, but we really just have to trust in him and know he will take care of us. Love to all Sue & Ron

cheryl yost said...

This is Karin's oldest sister, and it's 2015 now. I have no idea if anyone will see this, but here's an update.

Alex is moving along a path similar to my own daughter- he has a CPAP now. More of the Pierre Robin that caused all his early medical issues. Instead of Karin, Dad has me to help navigate the medical system. Alex is a gifted child- going to a new gifted school- who still needs his ultra patient mother to steer him. *sigh* he only has us. He is - as always- a handful. But he's a fun child to be around and his cousins (my children) love him.

Brycen- is whip smart too. He LOOKS just like Karin did, which is spooky. He makes some of the same faces and moves. Last time I saw those moves they were on a child wearing pink!

In short, we are moving on. Mark has chosen to keep us (Karin's family) very involved in his life and I am grateful. It didn't have to be this way, but we are family by choice now. He refers to us as his "big sisters" as he pats us on our heads. His nanny is a wonder. She is Guatemalan, like one of my daughters, and plans to host us all in a Guatemalan vacation in the future.

This experience has made me more aware of how Mom centric school is. Every preschool craft was to go "home to Mom." I'm making small changes in the schools here in PA as i advocate for those without moms in the house. I approach all the fathers at birthday parties- maybe the lost the bet and had to go to the party and maybe they didn't have a choice. I always find out- to honor Alex's parents.

And, Mark is ready for a new life partner. So, i have the rare opportunity to choose my sister?? OR if Mark is my brother now, I have the traditional honor of attempting to choose my sister in law.

it's nice to run into references to Karin when I'm out on the web for totally unrelated searches. I hope your lives are turning out to be love filled and full of kindness.

Cheryl Kysilka Yost