Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Eating Update

Sorry it has been so long since my last post.  I've just been in a funk the past month, and writing has not come easy.  I really don't like to blog when I'm feeling down.  A part of me says that I should, because that's my reality.  And writing to you is my therapy, so it would make sense that I should blog even MORE when I'm feeling down.  But I just don't feel it.  And worse - I can't stand reading the posts I wrote when feeling down.  They just sound so whiny.

Anyway, I am happy to report that Harlie is doing much better with her eating.  During feeding therapy last Thursday, we talked about new strategies.  I know we need to keep trying new things to see what works.  But sometimes I just get tired of it all.  I just want her to eat so I can have some energy for other things that are important, too.  Like just being her Mom.

I think that's the thing that makes me most sad - and has been a huge contributor to why I've been in this funk.  It is so hard to just be her Mom.  And have fun with her.  When I have to make her do stuff she doesn't want to do - all day long (practically) it truly affects our mother/daughter relationship.  I try very hard not to take her walking to the bus in the mornings without so much as a wave good-bye, personally.  I receive no response to any of my "have a good day's" or "I love you's" as she walks out the door.  Grrr!

And I won't say there is no making her.  But it takes time.  Lots and lots of time.  For example... her hearing impaired teacher makes her students acknowledge her when they walk into her classroom.  I think that's great.  Harlie doesn't agree.  She can be SO rude!  Last week she did not want to say "hi" to Mrs. S.  So, she shut the door to the class and left Harlie out in the hallway.  She would wait a little while and open the door and (acting as if she was seeing Harlie for the first time) would say, "Well, hello Harlie!" and Harlie would try to come in without saying hello.  She shut the door again.

This went on for TEN minutes!!!!  Finally, Mrs. S opened the door, exclaimed "Well, hello Harlie!" and Harlie begrudgingly - and with bare minimum effort - waved hello and stomped past her into the room.  Oh, that girl is so stubborn!!!

Back to her eating... I don't know why she started to eat better after therapy.  Therapy itself was one of her least cooperative.  And we talked about taking a week break from all oral feedings.  As much as I want to take a break from it - I don't want to!  Something about going to get the can of formula.  It just makes me feel so guilty.  I don't know why.  I know either way - tube or oral - can or homemade - I am doing the best I can for her.  

And it's as if Harlie knows it.  She brings me to the edge and then has a great feeding to keep me from falling off.  And right on cue, the rest of the day (Thursday) and then every day since, she has been great!

And as an added bonus - Harlie and I had a great weekend together.  Tom went out of town to see a hockey game, so it was just me and the kids.  On Sunday, Harlie was more affectionate to me than ever!  It was so wonderful!  And she laughed more than usual, too.  It was just a great day.  And I can't help but think it had something to do with the major decrease in our "fighting" over eating.

So, I'm going to try to do what we can - while maintaining happiness.  And If I have to tube, then I'll tube.  And not feel bad about it.

In other news:

Today they canceled school for inclement weather.  I know they are just trying to keep everyone safe - but I'm betting they are regretting that call.  It didn't start sleeting until late afternoon.  Granted, it was icy, but the kids would have been home long before that happened.

And Tom is sick.  Most likely, it's the flu.  I've never seen him feel this bad.  He rarely gets sick.  And when he does it lasts for like 24 hours.  I really hope I don't catch it.  Because I am exactly opposite.  I get sick often and it usually hangs around for a while.

So, between the kids and Tom, Brandy and I worked our butts off today!  And we saw Despicable Me at least two and a half times (while we were working of course).  Which is fine by me, because I think it is my favorite of all kids movies.  Harlie got it for Christmas and clearly, Cooper has seen it too many times.  He tries to say some lines before they do.  And he is trying to say "oh yeah" like Vector does - complete with the arm motions.  I must try to get that on video!

Speaking of Cooper, he said his first sentence (other than "I want milk") the other day:  "Mommy, Harlie not sharing Buzz!"  I about fell over!  Jennifer had just walked in the door with Harlie, when Harlie picked up Buzz and walked away.  Cooper spoke and Jennifer and I looked at each other in total shock.  I'm glad she was there so I know I heard it!

Speaking of speaking, Harlie is getting a new speech therapist soon.  We took December off from speech therapy.  I had to lighten our load a bit for the holidays, so that's just the way it worked out.  We were having to leave early from therapy each time anyway to pick up Cooper from school.  We are going to start to see someone at Harlie's physical therapist's office.  The time works better, I think.  Same day, but we'll see her after PT. Hopefully that will work out okay.  I am anxious to see how she does after such a long break.

Well, that's it for now.  As always, thanks for reading!


B-Mama said...

So glad to read things are going better with the eating! Give our best to Tom--poor guy. What a price to pay for getting away for the weekend! Hope you all stay well.

Just Diane said...

I am glad that Harlie is doing better eating. Our 4 year old is a terrible eater. It is one of the most stressful times of day for me when we have to get him to eat. He gags, he throws up in front of everyone, he cries, he plays in his food... it is awful. Although our feedings problems are different, I do feel your stress on that. I don't speak from any experience with special(ly cute) needs kids so feel free to tell me to stuff it anytime!

I hope you are feeling better soon. I wish I was closer. I'd come over and help you out. And you are far better at blogging than I am... I haven't posted anything in a VERY long time.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

I hate funky funks. Interesting that I read this update of yours tonight, as I just posted something similar. "Haven't been posting much because things are rough even though thats when I need the most support".

((hugs)) sweet friend!