Hives.

Boy have I been in a funk! But, as I've noticed before, my feelings seem to mirror Harlie's. And I think she's feeling pretty crappy.

On Friday morning she woke up with hives! Ugh.





So, I gave her Benadryl and hoped that the hives would quickly go away. We were thinking that maybe it was the Tylenol with Codeine, since she hasn't had that much and her last dose was given at 1:50am. Which is a real bummer, because that's her pain med. It couldn't be her antibiotic (Keflex), she's been on that since Monday. And she's had it before with no reactions.

At noon, Brandy gave her the antibiotic. At 1:30, she was worse than before. I went and got the report from the night nurse and read, "She awakened crying, and scratching at right ear, and right side of face, and neck, administered Tylenol with Codeine." The Tylenol was given at 1:50am. She had a reaction before the Codeine. Her antibiotic was given at 12am and at 6am. So, that means that she had a reaction to the antibiotic - not the codeine.

So, I took her to the pediatrician. I've never seen hives before, and I just wanted to make sure that we were right - plus - we needed a new prescription for the antibiotic. I wasn't really ready to take her out in public. But she clearly wanted to get out of the house. She signed "let's go" eagerly. When I called her ped they told me just to bring her in whenever I could. When I got there the waiting room was fairly full. It was not fun to carry her through there. Those parents have no idea what's happened to my little girl. I'm sure that she is quite the sight to uneducated eyes. I didn't look at anyone. Luckily, they called us back immediately. The nurse told me that they held a room open for her. How thoughtful!!!

Harlie was not her cooperative self. She wouldn't let the nurse take her temp. She wouldn't let the doctor touch her at all. The only thing she let her do was listen to her heart/lungs. And that was only after the doctor pointed to her stethoscope. I hope that Harlie will trust again. But, I guess it will take some time. And comforting? She doesn't want any. I know that she's had to find ways to cope with her life. But, I just can't help but wonder what kind of personality traits are developing.

Anyway, her doctor didn't really like the look of the incisions under her jaw. So, she can't go off the antibiotic completely. So, she had to prescribe something else (Omnicef). But, it is still in the same category as the one that caused the hives. So, it is possible that the new antibiotic will still cause hives. Even though she's had it before with no reaction. Ugh. My poor sweet girl.

After our trip to the doc and another dose of Benadryl...



This is how she looked this morning (Saturday). Looks promising, right?



I wish. Here's how she looked when we were getting her ready for bed. When I gave her a bath last night, I was thinking that she did not look like a 3 year old. Her body, I mean. Nothing about her body looks like a toddler. She is too thin, too scarred, too grey, too bruised. It kills me.





The bruising you see is from them trying to get a femoral line. I keep telling them that they are done - please don't try. Yet they try anyway and they are never successful and she comes out of the OR bruised all over.



I miss my Harlie. My happy girl. The light is missing from her eyes. She's miserable. And it shows. This recovery is so much harder than it was last time. Honestly, this recovery is the hardest so far. She's always bounced back faster than this. I can't help but wonder if it is because she's getting older, more aware. Or is it that her body is having a harder time, too? I don't even want to think about that. She has smiled a few times. And she's gotten up and walked around a bit. If we could get rid of these hives, I think she would feel so much better.

I was thrilled on Thursday, when I was putting her in bed. She signed "I love you" to me FIRST. I signed "thank you" and "Mommy is so happy." I can't tell you how great that felt. Of course, she hasn't said it since. I keep on telling her, but she just ignores me - or pushes me away. Ahhh, being her mom is so freaking hard!

On a fun note, it snowed here. Like NEVER before!



Murphy was a little excited.









The neighbor's dog...



Murphy trying to walk in it...





And while trying to get everyone in bed, Cooper went into the bathroom while Murphy's bath water was draining. I saw him go in, and ran in there after him. Clearly, I wasn't fast enough. But, in my defense, that little guy is very quick!







He is so Tom! And we so need him! He is such a joy!

Thanks for reading. More later!
~Christy