Friday, November 18, 2011


So, as I spoke in an earlier post about my worries, Cooper's preschool issues was on the list.

He just started in this preschool this year - so it's new to him.  His birthday is September 26, and the cut off to be in the three-year old class is September 30, so he just barely made it.  One of the main reasons why I moved him to this preschool is because they have a policy that the kids don't have to be potty trained until age 4.  Great!  No pressure.  OF COURSE he'll be potty trained by 4.  Right?

Anyway, in short, his teacher harped on two things since the beginning of school - 1) He's not potty trained (nor is he ready or willing) and 2) He's "high energy.  REAL high energy."

Well, I didn't mind the first couple of times.  But, come on.  What am I supposed to do about those two things?

One complaint was that he wouldn't sit still for circle time.  What I wanted to say is, "Well maybe you should spice up your circle time."  But I didn't.  I just said, "Well, we don't do circle time at home, so I don't know what to tell you.  That's why he's in preschool."  I told her I had already spoken with his pediatrician who told me - WAY too young to be diagnosed - and you just have to get through these years.  He just turned 3, for crying out loud.

At our teacher/parent conference last week, I briefly explained that our life is... different.  And that I need help teaching him what preschool teaches.  That's why I signed him up for the 3-day program vs. the 2-day program.  He needs the instruction.  He needs the structure.

But by the next week's end, I couldn't take it anymore.  Every day, I heard the same thing.  It got to the point that I dreaded walking into that building.  It was awful.  And most days he would come home in the same pull up that he went to school in (they require pull ups vs. diapers) and it would be soaked!  So, I know they weren't taking him to the potty consistently.  And on Friday she told me that "He was real high energy in music today.  REAL high energy.  And he pooped today, which is fine, but he needs to tell us when he goes."  Yeah, okay.  "Hey, Cooper, did you hear her?  You need to tell her when you go poop, okay?  And while you're at it, go on ahead and tell me, too, okay?  Great.  I'm glad we had this talk."

For real?

This kid is so anti-potty that I don't know what to do.  He asked for a small bag of M&Ms the other day and I told him he could have them if he just sat on the potty - just SAT on it.  Nope.  He said no and walked away from the M&Ms.  And never asked for them again.  Is that normal?

The bottom line is that he has no desire to use the potty.  He cries when we make him sit on it.  Do I keep on making him sit on a regular basis (like before bath, bed, etc.) or am I just making it worse by making him?  Ugh.  I absolutely hate potty training!  And keep in mind that I am spent.  It took two agonizing years to train Harlie.  Granted, we confused her by her surgeries which required her to go back into diapers multiple times.

Anyway, I just decided that I couldn't take it anymore.  And if I felt they way I did about walking into that building - how did he feel staying in it?  So, I called the director and told her my concerns.  And she found another classroom that he would fit into.  One less high energy.  The only negative was that it was a total different schedule of days.  But, oh well, it's worth it if it's a better place for him.  They let me bring him on Wednesday to try it out and see how he did before we made the switch.  And he did great.  And the teachers seem willing and able to handle him.  So, we made the switch.

I want to make it clear that he's not a bad kid.  Just like she told me in the parent/teacher conference a couple of weeks ago - he's very sweet and shares with his friends.  She even described him as "kind."  It kills me that we had to move him.  But he doesn't seem phased in the least.  His teachers said that he's comfortable in the class and they said that he acts just like a typical 3-year old.

So, I feel better.  And hopefully he is happy.  And hopefully things will stay that way.



B-Mama said...

The sky is the limit for that sweet little boy. He's going to be just fine--sounds like it was totally a teacher thing. I remember her being funny about T being in pull-ups when we started... Some people!!

I'm so glad you found a good fit for him! xo

Susan said...

I think some preschool teachers don't really want to change diapers. Cooper is a very young three and they should remember that. I'm sure things will get better, but I'm glad you got him into a class with a more sympathetic teacher.

Kristen said...

You are such a great mom! Cooper is lucky to have you advocating for him! And I am glad he is now in a class with a teacher who has realistic expectations for little three year olds!

Anonymous said...

google "three day potty training"-- it's an ebook, and you can google a coupon for it, too. i found it really helpful to have someone else telling me how to do it, and it definitely worked for us.

Ann said...

Eric didn't potty train until he was 4. He spent the first year and a half of preschool in a class with much younger kids and he didn't care! It was actually Eric's preschool that got him potty trained, not us. Like Cooper, the kid has a mind of his own. And, that's not a bad thing. There is such an emphasis on trying to get kids to conform to the "norm". What is the "norm" anyway? If it's any comfort (which I'm sure it's not), three out of my four kids don't fit the friggin "norm". What I treasure the most about Mary is not so much that she's more the "norm" than my other kids, as much as I appreciate that she made it all the way through school and into college without some teacher, somewhere along the line telling me what was "wrong" with her. It does get exhausting always having to hear about how your kids aren't going with the flow - as if we don't already know that!

Cooper will be fine. He'll get there when he's ready and I'm sure the potty training battle is just the first of many he will give you. :)

Love ya!