Showing posts with label pictures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pictures. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Harlie Update, Way Past Due

Hi! After long periods of time of not sharing our life with you, it feels a bit scary to start sharing again. So, I'm just going to jump in. (I say that, but I started this post two weeks ago and it has been so hard to finish it! But, I'm gonna do it...)

Harlie returned to school (9th grade) in the fall of 2022.

First day of 9th grade.

Cooper's first day of 8th grade. 

This is the first time she's been in person, full-time since her 3rd grade year. Kinda nuts. She didn't attend one day of her 4th grade year and was on a hybrid of in person/homebound from 5th grade through 8th grade. When her new team met at the high school in the summer to talk about what her return would look like, we talked about starting with half days or something like that. I figured that with all the different classes, it would be easier to jump right in and then scale back if needed. And she did great! She is thrilled to go to school every day, all day. She gets ready every morning and anxiously waits for the school bus to come get her. The negative here is that the bus doesn't come get her until after the late bell rings at school. So, she has been late to school EVERY SINGLE DAY. Plus, we have a 15-minute range of when the bus is coming. Is that even normal? Does every kid standing at a bus stop have a 15-minute window of when the bus is coming? Our kids have walked to school - never taken a bus, so I don't know what's normal. At any rate, she is eager and determined to learn and is making so much progress in her reading skills! Her social skills are getting better, too. Here are some highlights so far...

Harlie turned 16 in September!


We went bowling to celebrate.


She went to the Homecoming dance.


We went to Pugoween (so many pugs in costume!)
and we finally put some effort into her costume.


It paid off! She won 1st place in the Group Costume category.


 

Her 9th grade school photo.

She got a prosthetic ear! It is the one on the left.
She can finally wear her hair down since she can tuck her hair behind that ear now.

She was in the One Act at school - with a speaking line!

She played in the All Star Basketball program,
which she LOVED.


Look at how tiny she is compared to her peers!



As you can see, she has been very busy in school! Going to watch her basketball games was pretty moving. For the first game, I spent the whole game trying not to cry. Okay, fine. I cried for the first 10 minutes, at least. There were just so many emotions all at once. I was sad she was out there, I was grateful she was out there. Then I felt that for all the kids and all their parents. Then I thought man, people are so lucky to be born well. Do people realize that? You can also see that the kids on the court aren't embarrassed or self conscious. They are out there enjoying themselves. They just seem so grateful to be there. I think we could all stand to learn something from them.  

So, overall, things are going well. We've had some nursing issues. This comes with the territory, I know. However, knowing doesn't make it any easier, of course. It is not easy to open up your home, your family and your hearts to other people. Considering Harlie requires a nurse to go with her to school, it is pretty imperative that the nurse be someone we can count on day after day. That nurse is her ticket to her education. Because of that, we found that a nurse provided by the county is the more reliable way to go. She has the same nurse each day and she rides the bus with Harlie to and from school. If she cannot go to school with Harlie, they will try and get a substitute. That is impossible in the home health nursing world. So far, they have been able to get a sub all but one time. So, that's great. We still have Caylee from time to time, but she does have her own career. We are lucky that she still wants to spend her free time with us, though. I've adjusted my work schedule to allow me to focus on getting Harlie ready for school. She still needs help bathing and washing/drying her hair. 

(As I mentioned earlier, I started this post two weeks ago. Right after I started it, her school nurse gave notice and left to accept a job elsewhere. Ahhh, it is so hard when she gets attached, and then they leave. We are back to substitutes for now.)

Anyway, we are without a full-time nurse for the first time in a really long time. I have to think that this means we are getting somewhere. Hopefully somewhere good. Harlie is 16 years old now. And she wants to live a more normal life. Her ultimate goal is to be able to go to school without a nurse at all. I know she can get there. But, it is really terrifying to think of her being in that big high school without someone looking out for her all day. But, just like with all things that Harlie is determined to achieve, we will figure it out. What she wants, is what I want. 

As far as how she's doing medically, well, that's another story - and honestly, the real reason I finally sat down to write again. 

In order to tell you, I have to go back a bit. Here's a summary...

April 13, 2021, Harlie had surgery at Boston Children's Hospital to implant prosthetic, titanium temporomandibular joints (TMJs).

April 18, 2021, Harlie was discharged (her tablet was stolen from her bed while she slept) and we drove home.

To write this post, I had to go back and refresh my memory on this time almost two years ago. Ugh. I don't know how we lived through this. And I don't know how we're going to do it again. MFer.  

April 21, 2021, After we got home, she just didn't stop bleeding from her incisions. It was a nightmare. She was readmitted to the hospital just a few days after being discharged from BCH.  She really should've been admitted sooner, honestly. I pushed it, hoping for it to stop on it's own. 

From May to August, some kind of growths appeared at both incisions (one on each side near her ears). We saw several different docs, but no one really knew what they were. They were not filled with fluid, even though they kind of looked like large blisters. I finally sent some pics to her ENT in DC and he said he needed to see her in person. So, we went to DC and he said they were abscesses from an infection. Either the constant bleeding a few months back allowed an infection in, or the infection was already there from the OR. I know everything is supposed to be sterile and all in ORs, but it would not be the first time she came out of an OR with an infection. Anyway, her ENT brought in an infectious disease doc (ID) and she is great. Our goal is to save her prosthetic TMJs and she was very supportive of that goal. 

We scheduled a time for Harlie to go into the OR and he removed the growths. They cultured the tissue and it came back with staph. They put in a PICC line and put her on IV meds for two weeks. But, soon after, the growths started growing back. Her ID doc put her on Doxycycline through her g-tube and she's been on it ever since. Her ID doc explained it to me something like this - the staph is sticking to the titanium TMJs. The staph knows that we are trying to kill it with antibiotics, so it forms a protective film/barrier over itself. The low dose of Doxy will hopefully eventually break down the protective layer and then get to the staph to kill it. 

Things settled down for a bit. We attempted to take her off the Doxy twice, but each time it looked like something was brewing. The second time was in June 2022. So, her doc said we should just keep her on it for another year. 

In November, 2022, a growth started growing back on the right side only, despite still being on Doxy. So the Doxy killed the bacteria on the left, but not on the right, I guess. In January, 2023, her ENT had to remove the growth. Within two weeks, I could see it was already growing back. This means that the Doxy isn't doing much, if anything at all. This is not good. After working with her ENT and ID for almost two years, they said we have exhausted all treatment options and it is time to speak to her surgeon in Boston. That TMJ has to come out. 

This is devastating. There is nothing good about this. There is no positive way of looking at it. I consider myself a pro at finding the positive view and there simply isn't one. This is only going backwards. This is re-doing an absolutely AWFUL surgery that isn't designed to be re-done. This is probably the first time we've gone into a surgery without having hope that she will come out better than she went in. Well, I guess that's not totally true. We hope that the infection will go away for good. I have to clean this infection area very often, and it hurts her. But, her function won't improve. Heck, her function could suffer for all I know. 

Here's what must be done: The surgeon has to remove her right TMJ and put in a temporary spacer. We take her home and let her heal. We have to make sure the infection is gone. I suppose they will make a new TMJ during this healing time. I don't really know. Then we return some months later and they will remove the spacer and put the new TMJ in. Did you see the pics of her getting her last TMJ? I don't know how we are going to do this again!!! And there's no guarantee that this all won't happen again! I can't even.

I don't know if I ever blogged about it, but that summer (2021) she ended up having to see a hematologist about her bleeding issue. She has some kind of platelet disorder. I don't remember exactly what. So, now, we need to consider that before going into this surgery. And we need to figure out a way for her to have her tablet and secure it when she is sleeping in the hospital. I can't believe this is something we have to worry about. 

Surgery is Monday, March 27. She will need lots of pre-op appointments, so we will have to go up sometime the week before. 

Tom's work schedule is booked. He has big projects starting, going, prepping, et cetera leaving no windows for time off. But he knows I cannot get Harlie to Boston alone. I don't know what he's going to do but I know he will figure something out. We managed to get my favorite Airbnb, so that's good. I do like knowing where we will stay - the layout, what we need to bring, how I'll walk to the hospital, stuff like that. This place is really comfortable - small but not too small and familiar, in a good way.  

I wrote most of the above two weeks ago, when we found out her surgery date. I've had a hard time getting back to this post to finish it. Since I started it, we got our pre-op appointments scheduled for the Friday, March 24. So, we will go up on Thursday. Luckily, that gives Tom a few days to get his project underway so he can be gone for a bit. 

I'm totally dreading this surgery. A few people have asked me if she'll be okay. I guess since I'm sharing anyway, I'll tell you the ugly truth. I always worry if she'll be okay. I never go into a surgery thinking it is no big deal. Never. I just try to hide my worry from everyone. No one wants to talk about that kind of worry anyway. 

On a lighter, more positive note.. Harlie is going to summer camp! YAY!


You might remember that our boys have been going to summer camp - Winona Camps for Boys in Maine for about six or so years. Well, Murphy aged out now. But, Cooper still goes. Every summer, Harlie has watched them go and wished she could go, too. I think she thinks that WE don't want her to go. But, that is so NOT the case! We'd love for her to be able to go! I've tried to get her into several special needs based camps - but the trach has always been a deal breaker. But, this camp is only for kiddos with trachs! 

I found out about Champ Camp from a fellow trach mom/family. Her daughter went to camp and graduated as a camper this past year. It looks amazing. So, I applied in January and had a phone interview. We talked over some things. I totally get that Harlie is a lot. I'm not blind to that. But, I also know that she manages it so well, really. Plus, I have the full support of the docs that know her best. We then had a zoom interview with different people and I completed a bunch of paperwork. We got official word last week that she was accepted! Hallelujah! 

The camp is in Indiana in June. Oh, what an adventure for Harlie! We are so excited for her! Hopefully, this surgery will go fine and she will heal up and be ready by June. That's the plan anyway. 

Okay, I'm just going to end this here. I'll blog more during her hospitalization. 

Thanks for all the love!

Christy xo

Sunday, November 14, 2021

October Recap

Dear Diary,

Haha!  That's what this feels like. Nothing like publishing some of your innermost thoughts. 

September 28, Tuesday

Tom and I went to see Nathaniel Rateliff with some friends tonight. The concert was at VACU Live (Richmond Raceway). That is a great venue and it is outside and the weather was great. We have missed live music so much!


September 29, Wednesday

Murphy had some professional day at school for marketing class today. This is how he went to school...


Oh, this kid can only be but so serious. Haha!

Two of Harlie's friends came to visit her tonight. I don't know if you remember my post from when Harlie was in the hospital in August. I told you about how Harlie had a rough night and she said she missed her friends. She was talking about her school friends and if you remember how I mentioned that she's been out of school since Thanksgiving of 2019, you can see why. I'm guessing people don't know how to include Harlie. I know she isn't great at having a lot of conversation with kids - she just hasn't had enough exposure to that scenario. I do wish it were easier for people to ask me. Maybe it just seems like too much work? I don't know. At any rate, I really struggled with myself on this one. I don't want to ask too much of other people. And I certainly don't want to make anyone do something they don't want to do. But, if they want to, and don't know how, maybe I should reach out and make it easier for them?  As I said, I struggled with myself on this one. 

I finally decided to reach out to a good friend of mine whose daughter has been great with Harlie and she has a mutual friend that was great with Harlie in the past. I asked her if she could see if the two of them would want come over and hang out with Harlie.  And she said they wanted to and were excited to see her. Yay! 

So, they came over and brought Harlie a birthday gift - a picture holder, and they took polaroid selfies. They also brought beads to make bracelets and some other activities. 


Thank you, Lindsay, for making that happen. It is amazing what just a little time with friends can do to one's spirit! 

October 2, Saturday

Tom and I met some friends out at Mainline Brewery to see a local, fun band, Flat Elvis. 

My high school friends, Mike, Mike and Kim.

Mike and I

October 5, Tuesday

Today Harlie was FINALLY able to have her audiology appointment WITH a hearing test! We've been trying to do this since her surgery in April. Ever since that surgery, she has not been able to put in her hearing aid. The TMJ surgery must have changed the position of her temporal wall, which changed the shape of her ear canal, so her hearing aid no longer fit. And she had so much debris (dried blood) in her canal from the surgery and the incessant bleeding that occurred for weeks post-op. But, her ENT cleaned that all out in August. 

Anywho, combine all that with that weird growth, she couldn't get her hearing tested. So, finally, her ear was cleaned out and the growth shrunk (again) down enough that she could put on the hearing test headphones.


I love her audiologist.  We've been seeing Ann for longer than I can remember. Well, Harlie was a wee babe then. So, Ann totally gets how I had to constantly reschedule this appointment and she was so understanding and patient. And she really thought about her complications and had an idea before we got there.  She changed her hearing aid to more of an adult type of fit (vs. an ear mold) and it worked great! So, she was able to do it right there, and we didn't have to wait for the mold to be done and then come in (usually takes weeks). So, after her test, and Ann working her magic, Harlie walked out with her hearing aid IN for the first time since April! I can honestly say - we are ALL happier.  Haha!

Also, during this week, we met Harlie's new teacher. She actually has three now. There isn't one teacher who has the ability to cover all of the hours that Harlie is supposed to receive in a week. So, they had to assign multiple teachers.  This is a logistical nightmare for me. I hate too many details. My brain is too full of Harlie's medical details that I have to remember for me to take on logistics like this. 

Here is what we are trying to schedule in a week's time:

  • Three different teachers (who each have their own schedules they are working around).
  • Two speech therapists. There really were four, but Harlie's on a wait list for one (Amy, we are not ready to let you go!) and I had no choice but to give up one of the STs to open up her calendar for her teachers.
  • She's on a block schedule (day 1, day 2) so she goes to Advisory class every morning, then she has an afternoon class pretty much every other day. This means that you can't easily just schedule things for Mon/Wed, since every other week, she'd be missing class. 
  • Add in doctor's appointments, and really, there just isn't a groove you can settle into. 

I also switched Harlie from Art class to Independent Living. There wasn't room in any 8th grade classes, so we put her in a 7th grade class.  They are learning to sew and she loves it! 

October 6, Wednesday

Murphy finally got his driver's license. I'm reminded of how it was to parent young children. You think you can do so much to protect them. But now, he gets into a car and drives away. I know I'll get used to it - as every parent must. But, it is weird. And sometimes really hard. I'll tell you more about that in a minute. 

October 7-12

I went to the Grand Canyon and hiked the Rim2Rim - North Rim to South Rim, in one day! Clearly, I'll have to save that for it's own post. 


October 15, Friday

So, I got another tattoo. Teresa did all the outlines. I'll go back in November to have it colored. I'm pretty excited. I'll blog more about it when it is all done. I'm sure some of you think I'm crazy. I'm actually okay with that. I've earned it. 😉

October 16, Saturday

Murphy went to Homecoming. 



I had a somewhat difficult parenting moment that night. Tom and I were watching TV after 10pm (waiting for him to come home, of course). The window was open, and I heard a ton of sirens very close by. I had a PTSD moment and wanted SO bad to call him to make sure he was okay. But, I don't want my kids to worry about me, worrying about them. So, I kept on telling myself that he was okay, and I did not call him. 

And he was. He said he had a great time. 

October 17, Sunday

I learned the reason for all those sirens last night. There was a hit and run less than a mile from our house.  Unfortunately, a 27-year old man died at the scene. So sad!

Harlie loves to go apple picking. We used to go every fall. But, a couple of years ago, we realized that it is just too hard to take her. Clearly, this activity is not wheelchair friendly. And it would be really hard to piggy back her the whole time.  This is not an easy thing for us to admit. I forced us to go to the pumpkin patch last fall.  That was a nightmare and we swore we would never go again. That activity is also not wheelchair friendly. Nor is it trach friendly with all the dust that the tractor ride things make. We worked really hard for those memories for a lot of years. It is time to try and make new ones. 

So, Tom found a farmers market just west of Charlottesville. They had lots of apples - that she could "pick" from buckets. Haha! He also found a wheelchair friendly "trail" close to the farmers market. So, we could still go close to where we would normally go pick apples, just do something a little different. She was agreeable. 



Harlie was trying to block Cooper's face. 

This is me telling her to stop. 

That's better.



Somehow the farmers market was closed. Ugh. So, no "picking" apples after all. But, she enjoyed the walk and the drive. You know, she's pretty good at handling disappointment, which is a valuable life skill. We stopped at a brewery on the way home and had dinner together. Murphy couldn't go because he had to work. 

October 18, Monday

Harlie had another appointment with her Infectious Disease doc in DC. It looks like the antibiotics are still helping. Harlie will stay on doxy for three months, and then we will have another conversation. I want to believe that the meds are taking care of it and that it won't come back. But, I just don't have a great feeling about it. Maybe I'm just trying to "prepare" for the worst, which is so silly. There is no preparing for something really bad. It's not like preparing would make it better or easier to accept. 

October 20, Wednesday

Harlie had her annual check up with her orthopedic surgeon. I really like this guy. When we chat, I feel like he listens to me. He also knows that he isn't the most important specialty in her life. He knows that she has a lot to deal with and he is realistic about how I have to look at potential spinal surgery. 


He said that her spine actually looks better than last year. That could mean that she is stronger and is able to stand up straighter for the x-ray. 

He said that her lack of growth is actually helpful for her kyphosis scoliosis (spine bends forward, not to the side). Growth spurts make the curvature worse. I mentioned that we saw endocrinology about her growth (or lack thereof). He went and printed out a frontal view of her x-ray. He looked at her growth plates around her hips and shoulders. He said they have not closed entirely yet, so she might have a little more growth left. We'll see. 

But, wow - look at all that metal in her jaw! 


I really cannot imagine having to take them out. That would be so incredibly awful, for so many reasons. 

Whew! This was a hard week. Traveling to DC two days was not fun. The traffic was awful in both directions, on both days. In fact, I had to take a detour around 95, both days! 

October 22, Friday

We went camping in West Virginia with some friends. The weather was perfect and the fall leaves and clear Greenbrier River were gorgeous! 









October 25 - 29

Wow. I can't believe it. There are NO appointments this week. I honestly cannot remember a full week - Monday through Friday - with ZERO appointments!  I was able to work four full days!  I took one day off to get stuff done around the house and run errands. For a sec there, I almost felt normal!

October 31, Sunday

Halloween, Harlie's favorite holiday. I'm gonna let her participate for as long as she wants to. This is how she came downstairs first thing in the morning. I started to tell her to change and save her costume for later. But, as I started to tell her, she looked at me with these eyes... and I stopped talking. Well, it is Halloween all day. She should just live it up. 



Harlie telling Mabel to pick her costume.















She had a great time trick or treating. This was the longest she has ever stayed out. I don't really understand what she likes about it so much. It is a lot of work for her to get in and out of the wheelchair at every house and walk to the porch. And she can't even eat the candy! I'm guessing for her it is about the experience and not the loot. 

Well, that's it for October. I hope to have some other posts for you soon. As always, thank you for your love and support!

Much love,

Christy xo



Difficult Day

There are a few times of the year that prove to be particularly challenging, year after year. Homecoming is one of those times. The other ti...