Murphy and swimming

We signed Murphy up for year round swimming this fall.  He had a brief stint with gymnastics once a few years ago.  And, of course, he's been on the summer swim team with our pool for the past few years.  But, I think other than that, this is our first real commitment to an extra curricular activity.  And I have to tell you, it's not easy.

When it comes to being the parent of a child with special needs, I got it.  It's been eight years now, and I feel like I have a good handle on it.  But, this carting around kids after school and getting to practice on time, like every time, weeks and months on end?  And volunteering (aka making commitments in which other people are relying on me)?  I'm not so sure about all that.  Walking into NOVA for practice, I feel like a fish out of water.

Plus, that's not my community.  Those aren't my people.  They don't know me, us, or Harlie or what we have on our plates.  I feel like I'm exposing myself.  And it's really scary.  But we are going to try this for a year, and see how it goes.  I know we'll meet more people and Murphy will make some friends.  It's just going to take a little time.  Luckily, I do know a few people so that's good.

So, every Tuesday and Thursday, I put Harlie in the car and drive to school to pick up the boys from the car pool line.  Murphy is in the 5th grade, and this is the first time I have ever used the car pool.  We are walkers.  Rain or shine. Every day.  Well, except Tuesday and Thursday afternoons now.  Dismissal for car riders is at 2:10 and practice starts at 2:30.  It takes about 15 minutes to get there.  So, by the time he actually gets in the car and changes into his swim suit, he's a few minutes late.  But, they said they are fine with that for the 2:30 class, since they know it's a tight fit.  I tried the 3:30 class the first week, and it is very crowded.  Considering this is his first year, I thought he would get more attention and time in the water with a smaller class.

He is the tallest kid in his class (granted, it's a small class).  But, after just a few days, Murphy came home and said that everyone was asking him why he's not with his age group.  He is in a novice intro group vs. an age group.  I feel so bad that it took us so long to be able to introduce him to something.  But, it really was the best we could do.  I know I could not have handled this kind of schedule last year or any year prior to that!  So, I explained that to him and told him that it's up to him as to how fast he can move up to his age group.  He has to earn it.  Hopefully it will be a good experience for him.  

Anyway, he had his first swim meet October 11th and 12th.  He had two events on Saturday (50 Free and 50 Breast) and one event on Sunday (50 Back).

On Saturday, I had to run twenty miles for my marathon training.  His session was in the afternoon, so Tom let me rest at home while he took him to warm ups.  Warm ups were at 1:30 and he was scheduled to swim a few hours later.  So, I just showed up in time for the events.  He did great, I think. He wasn't scared, and he didn't DQ, so I considered that a success.  And he already looks so much better in the water than he did this summer.

On Sunday, Harlie's nurse had to leave before Murphy's swim meet would've been over.  So, Tom stayed home and I took Murphy to the meet.  Warm ups were at 1:30 and he was scheduled to swim around 4:20.  I took two chairs for us and he brought a book.  We found a spot and I put my feet up in Murphy's chair to relax while we waited.  It's pretty warm/hot in the building and I was sitting down, relaxing.  And I fell asleep!  In public!  And I'm not even a napper!  Please remember that I ran twenty miles the day before!  I was SO tired.  And we had all those appointments that week for Harlie's tooth.  Plus, the We Haunt Harlie event.  It had been such a busy week.

Anyway, the next thing I know Murphy says, "Oh, 134? That's my event!"  Oh no.  Murphy was in the first heat!  There was no way he was going to make it if they were announcing the event already!  I told him to run (through a crowded building) but he did not make it.  There was no way.  Ugh.  I wanted to cry. I went over to that area, and he didn't return.  I saw his coach doing a lot of talking with a few people.  It looked like they were talking about him.  So, I was crossing my fingers that they could work him into another heat.  When she appeared to be alone for a sec, I went over to her and told her that I was Murphy's mom and that I was really sorry that he missed his event.  She was very kind and understanding and said it happens.  She said they were looking for a place to put him, but all the heats were full.  I stood by the pool and waited while the meet continued, praying that they would work this out for him. To think we sat there for three hours - for nothing?!  Ugh!  And I knew Tom was never going to let me live this down. I am so irresponsible when it comes to time. I just can't seem to get it together! I felt absolutely horrible. And to make things worse - I didn't take one single photo of him at his first meet.  After several events, she came over and told me he would be in the first lane, in the next event.  Oh, thank you so, so much!  What a relief!

So, the announcer said, "Event number so and so, 50 Breaststroke, and Lane 1 will be swimming 50 Backstroke."  :-)

I must say, I was way more upset and worried about it than Murphy.  He didn't seem to be at all bothered by it.  He didn't even care that he was swimming a completely different stroke than everyone else.  I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.  One could speculate that he just doesn't care, period.  But, I'm hoping that he's just a "go with the flow" kind of kid.

He had another meet this past weekend.  This time he was swimming during the morning session.  I had to run my last twenty-mile run (before the marathon) on Saturday.  So, I missed it.  Apparently, it wasn't a good session.  He flip turned too early in one event and his goggles fell off in another.  Tom took him again on Sunday, since they had to leave so early. I guess he didn't want to repeat what happened the last time I was in charge. :-)  He swam his first 100 meter event, and it was 100 Breast.  There were only three boys in the heat, but Murphy came in first.  So, that's exciting!

And, thankfully, my twenty-mile run went really well.  Despite the fact that I was LATE getting to the start.  I know, that's shocking, isn't it?

I left early Saturday morning and thankfully was talking to my friend Niki on my way.  She's clearly a really good friend because it was before 7am at the time!  Anyway, she said something that made me realize I left my Garmin at home!  ACK!  Seriously, I cannot thank Niki enough for this!  Luckily, I was right at an exit when I realized it, so I was able to take the quickest route back home.  Grabbed my watch and hurried to try to make it.  Since I am doing Galloway (run/walk combo), I need my Garmin to beep to tell me when it's time to walk/run.  That day I was running for five minutes, walking for one.

Anyway, the group was starting in waves according to one's predicted marathon times. I was going to start at 7:20 or 7:23.  Either wave would have been fine.  I pulled into the parking lot at 7:27.  There was one group left.  I hurried to my team's meeting area to sign in (we sign in so they know everyone who started, finished).  And that last group left.

I was literally the LAST person to leave the parking lot. Sometimes, I don't know how I survive.

Anyway, I had to work hard to keep my running under control for the first few miles.  I didn't want to run faster because I felt rushed.  I wanted to keep to my plan.  Which, I did.  And I am really proud of myself.  I ended up catching up to my team!  I couldn't believe it.  And, as a bonus, I ran it seven minutes faster than my last twenty! I have had some great runs lately.  So, after that last twenty, I feel really confident.  And now we are officially in taper mode.  Yay!  So, my next long runs are twelve, eight and then the marathon - 26.2!

As difficult as the past few months have been, I can now say that I am truly excited about this marathon.  I know that sounds weird.  But, I'm almost there.  It's almost over.  And, I'm ready.  And it feels really good to know that I'm ready to run 26.2 miles.

I wrote all the above on Monday night.  Is now Thursday and I am finally getting around to finishing it.  Since Monday night, I have come down with some illness.  I am super tired, and coughing a lot.  My lungs hurt.  Awesome.  So, I am not running for a few days, hoping that some extra rest will kick this thing out.

We got Harlie's new wheelchair yesterday.  She just loves it.  But, I will save that post for tomorrow.  I'm going to finish up this one for now.

Thanks for reading!
~Christy xo

The last month...

I know.  I've been absent again.  I have just not been "myself" lately, and it's hard to want to blog when you don't feel like yourself.

I have so much good to say about the We Heart Harlie and Friends event and the Deep Run Marathon Dance, but I am seriously lacking the energy to pull myself out of this funk for that right now.  Soon, I hope.

The real reason I'm writing right now is because I ran into two friends today who asked what's been going on.  And they both said that they want to know, even if it's not good.  So, thanks for that Katie and Stacy, this is for you!

The last two weeks have been an adjustment around here.  Cooper had swimming lessons each day and Murphy's swim team practice started.  Thank goodness my dear friend Bethany and I signed our boys up for the same sessions.  We took turns driving them there, which was a life saver.  The first week of adding those appointments on my calendar were complicated by Harlie having a.... fever!  Yes, the girl who never  rarely has a fever, had one.   So, that was a little freaky.  After seeing some hellacious infections not give her a fever, it makes you wonder what's brewing that does give her one!  We waited it out and didn't even take her to the doctor.  She's fine now.

Anyway, her being sick meant I couldn't take her to the pool for Murphy's swim practice.  Our nurse leaves earlier in the afternoon, so I don't have coverage then.  So, I called my Mom.  She received her first round of chemo last month, and was feeling better and up to coming over.  I had just seen her the night before at my nephew's senior soccer game.  But, she was wearing a hat, so I didn't notice.  I knew she was going to lose her hair, I just didn't realize it would happen so fast.  So, I guess that sort of caught me off guard.  Makes everything more real, I guess.  We had not told Murphy anything yet.  And when he saw her he said, "Nana, did you get a haircut?"  Ugh.  So, when Tom got home we told him that Nana is going through chemo for cancer.  Odds are that she'll be okay.  The cancer got into some lymph nodes, so the chemo will hopefully catch any that sneaked by.  She is in great spirits for the most part.  I know where I got my positive outlook from.
 

Here is my Mom and I on May 10th.  Her and my Dad came over for dinner to celebrate her birthday (the 9th), Mother's Day (the 11th) and Murphy's birthday (the 11th).  This was taken before she started to lose her hair.

Whew, I feel like this story is just getting longer and longer...  I guess that's what happens when you don't write for so long.

Anyway, thankfully my Mom helped me out that first week of practice so I could take Murphy to the pool and leave Harlie here with her.

The next week my Mom received her second round of chemo, so she really wasn't feeling well then.  I think she's starting to bounce back some now.

Harlie got better, too.  I don't know what she had, but it went away.  Although the next week brought another ailment her way.  For some reason (still unknown) she started coughing up blood from her trach.  This started right as Memorial Day weekend got underway, so no doc to take her to except the ER.  She really seemed fine.  So, I let it go.  After a few days it started to get better and each day we saw less and less blood.  She seems all good now.

But when we went to refill one of her breathing treatment meds, we found out that Medicaid no longer covers one of her meds.  In looking to replace it with something that they do cover, her docs put her on Albuterol.  Since that raises the heart rate, they wanted me to monitor her heart rate during treatment to make sure she was okay.  This made us realize that her heart rate is a lot slower than I thought.  I always remember it being in the high 80s.  Well during the treatment it stayed at 60 (or just above) the whole time.  Harlie's pacemaker is set to keep her above 50 beats per minute at night while she sleeps and 60 beats per minute during the day when she's awake.  I suppose this means that her heart rate is now slower than 60 bpm, which is causing her pacemaker to fire.  Apparently more often than I realized.  She will get her pacemaker checked at the end of June.  So, I'll have more data then.  And even though this may be "normal" for her heart, it still makes mine hurt a little.  I know she has a pacemaker for this reason exactly.  I just don't like the idea that her heart needs more help than it was getting.  Especially since this feels like a new change.  And she's seven.  Just more reminders....

Anyway, here's the last month in pictures...

May 11 - Mother's Day

I started the day out with a great run with friends.

And when we got back some of the dads had set up some goodies - mimosas!

Thanks Glen!

And food!

Thanks to all who supplied the yummy food!

Then I went home and got the family and we went to lunch.  Not only was it Mother's Day, it was this guy's 10th birthday!

Me and Murphy

Hard to believe he's TEN!!!  Here's what he looked like ten years ago...

5 weeks early, 5 pounds, 10 ounces

He was such a little sweetie.  Still is, for the most part.

After lunch we went to Belle Isle.  I love going there because we can take Rooney.  It has become our Mother's Day tradition.

Yes, sometimes Rooney likes to take advantage of the stroller.

Murphy - TEN years old!

One of my favorite family pics!

The next week, some kids I know really wanted their toe nails painted...

So, I painted them.  No crummy comments (or thoughts), please.  Later in the week when the polish was wearing off, I took Cooper's off with some polish remover.  Cooper looked at me in amazement and said, "Is that how you erase it?"  He's so funny.

Pediatric Connection is the company that provides our nursing and medical supplies and equipment for Harlie.  They wanted to get some pictures of some of their clients, so we went there for a quick photo shoot.  She was a ham.

Have you ever seen the movie Milo and Otis?  If you have, then you will probably understand why I thought it was hysterical when I walked in the room and found the two of them hanging out with this stuffed sea turtle.

What are the odds?

The other day this adorable neighbor said, "Here's your dog."

He is a very social pup and likes to make the rounds to all our neighbor's houses.  And if he sees the door open, he will gladly go in and do some vacuuming in the kitchen!

Tom and I went to a wedding... and he wore a bow tie!

Niki and I

Another pic of Rooney, just because I love him so...

Cooper had his LAST day of preschool.  Yes, he will start kindergarten in the fall.

Our kind neighbors let Tom borrow his Harley for a little ride.

Our Harlie loved it.

So cute!

One night, Tom and I were out at a bar celebrating a friend's Ironman achievement (Rick Tangard is awesome, by the way) and in walked my niece.  That was a first!

Me and Jordan

I started this post a week ago.  But I get so little time in front of my computer these days, I wasn't able to finish it.  Between swim team, working part-time, running, etc., it's been crazy.  But, after school is done (a week from tomorrow!) swim team meets in the mornings, which will be SO much better.  Right now it's from 5 to 6pm.  So, I have to take all three kids, plus all of Harlie's gear and oxygen and I have to watch her like a hawk. So, we haven't been getting home until 6:30ish, with three wet kids, no dinner and Tom's been working late.   I hate to sound like a wimp, but it's exhausting.

The first time I took Harlie to the pool was a little stressful.  I really felt like everyone there was staring at us.  And I'm sure that's not true.  Or, perhaps they were admiring how cute she is... regardless, I felt super self conscious and I just wanted to burst into tears.  In a weakness, I saw a friend and said to her, "Is it just me, or is everyone staring at us?"  And then I instantly regretted it.  It sounded really crappy.

But, we got through it.  And it was fine.  I'm sure that with more practice, I will get better at handling things and people will get used to seeing the oxygen tubing in the pool.

She is a lot of work at the pool.  But, she's worth it.  She really loves it.  Since she needs a float with a built in seat, we use two infant floats.  She's seven.  I guess we're really lucky that she's so small for her age.  We really go through some small oxygen tanks, though.  With her kicking her legs, I have to up the flow to keep her sats up.

Thank goodness for "adult swim" times!

Cooper had his last soccer game of the season.  Woohoo!

Tom and I went to my niece's (Jordan) college graduation party and my nephew's (Cutter) high school graduation party (they are siblings).  Then we left there to go to a wedding reception.

Tom and I

Allison and I

And, I decided to make another go for the Richmond marathon in November, along with these other crazies.

Keenan, Wendy, Natalie, Michelle, Molly, me, Aimee

I know, I'm nuts.  And, honestly, I'm not even sure I can pull it off.  But, I suppose you'll never know if you don't try.  So, I'm going to go as long as I can go.  My main concern is overall fatigue that impacts my ability to handle my life at home.  If that happens, I will back off and switch to the half.  And I will have no shame.  I no longer compare my time with other's.  Any day I can run is a good day, no matter what my time is.  And that's good enough for me!

Oh, and here's one more photo of the dog.

Look Mom!  Rooney's an astronaut!

So, that's what's been going on here.  Please send my Mom some good vibes for her chemo treatments.  This last one was a tough one.  She is going to take a little longer in between to give her a little more time of feeling good.  So, hopefully that will help her fight the next one better.

And things with Harlie are status quo for now.  Which, is a good thing.  It feels a little weird, though.  I feel like I'm dropping the ball somewhere.  So, I decided to work on getting her an appointment at a hospital that specializes in heart/lung transplants.  I don't like not knowing where we are.  I'd rather hear whatever they say, than sit here, not hearing anything at all.  The unknown seems scarier.  My imagination can take me to places I don't want to go.  So, I'll update you on that as it progresses.  I have a feeling it's not something that will happen soon, though.

More later (I hope!).

Much love,
Christy xo

Richmond Marathon

The Richmond Suntrust Marathon is Saturday.  And I will not be running this year, as originally planned (insert frowny-face here).  My stupid IT band has struck again (the same injury that I had during the marathon last year).  Since I already ran 26.2 miles with an injured ITB, which affected my time and my ability to exercise after the marathon for several months, it seems silly to do it all over again.

Last year was different.  For one, it was my first marathon and come hell or high water, I was running that thing!  For another, I thought my ITB injury was "cured" when I started the marathon.  Which, turned out to not be the case.  And quite frankly, that was pretty naive of me to even think that.  Ahhh, inexperience!

However, I can no longer use any of those excuses!  For one, I have experience.  For another, I know that my ITB will hurt - there is no way I can log 26.2 miles on this injury and come away unscathed.  Period.  And I'm unwilling to forfeit the next several months of running for this marathon.

I've been thinking this over for several weeks.  And I've gone back and forth.  I want to run it.  But I just don't think that would be very smart.   I am very sad that I will miss the experience this year.  I was so close to the starting line!  The feeling of completing a marathon was like no other.  It was an accomplishment I never thought I would achieve.  Heck, I'm approaching 40 years old, I have three small-ish children, one of which has special needs.  Finishing that marathon, I felt like a super hero!!!  Who the heck wouldn't want to feel that again?

But, I know the smart thing to do is to run the Half Marathon instead.  I'm not happy about it.  And I must admit, sometimes I think to myself, "God, considering what you chose for me - why couldn't you just make me a natural runner?  Would that have been so hard?"

I think Tom's pretty happy about my decision.  Training for a marathon is a family commitment - it affects us all.  The worst isn't even the time it takes to run.  It's the time it takes to recover.  That's where I feel the biggest challenge.  When I come home from running, I have to hurry up and get busy with my other duties.  Normal running/exercising is usually energy-producing.  Marathon training (in my experience) is energy-depleting.

And this fall especially, I need every ounce of energy I can get.  Harlie starting kindergarten has really taken a lot out of me.  Between the stress of how she's doing, and is she receiving the service she needs and is supposed to be getting, and finding a nurse... I have very little time, energy (and even less motivation) to go out and run a long run.

Yes, it was a wonderfully, awesome experience to run 26.2 miles.  And I hope to feel it again one day.  But, for now my goals have to shift a bit.  I want to work on some other things - not just distance running.   Goals that are less time consuming will be good for me - much more realistic and less stressful.  Maybe something that doesn't require my body to get a lot of rest.  Because I have to stay up late to get some quiet time - and to blog.

Okay, I just went and found my Marathon Recap from last year so I could link it in the first paragraph of this post and now I'm even sadder that I'm not running it!  It's so comical to me that even though I just read all about how incredibly painful it was - I still want to do it!  Runners aren't right.

But I am not going to let my emotions get the best of me!  When I signed up for the marathon this year - I had two goals.  One - to beat my time from last year.  And two - to run it healthy and without injury.  As awesome as it was to run it last year, I really don't want a repeat of that exact performance.  And then there's that voice inside that keeps saying, "What if..."

But I'm not.  Period.  I'm going to run the Half.  And as of right now, I say no marathon training next year.  So, we'll see...

I did go back and read all the awesome comments I got on my Marathon Recap post.  Loved every one.  Thank you very much for posting them.  And the next crummy day I have, I'll come back and read them again to remind myself that I'm not so bad.  Thank you for that!!!

Hopefully I'll have a good Half Recap for you.  Now, to get excited about 13.1 miles!  WooHoo!!!

Thanks!
~Christy

Marathon Training and Non-Hearing Terms

It's 4am and I can't sleep because I feel like crap.  I have a cold.  I like to consider myself more strong than weak, but colds kick my butt.  I'm thinking it's worse when I'm training for a marathon.  I'm tired from that already, so I don't have much left over to fight a sickness.

I felt a tinge of something Friday night.  On Saturday morning I woke up, met the group, and ran 18 miles.  Overall, I felt pretty good.  The course was hillier than I would have liked (but aren't they all?).  Then we went and got some breakfast.  Then I came home and weeded and planted the flower bed around the mailbox.  And that hurt.  My legs were screaming by then.

That night we went for a walk around the neighborhood with the kids.  I don't know why we don't do that more often.  The kids love it and it wears them out.  A win/win!  Harlie even wanted to walk more than usual.  We are trying to work on her walking endurance (we just started physical therapy again finally!).  And when we got the kids to bed and I sat down, it (the cold) hit me.

I have no energy to do anything.  And all I can think about is how much I'm not getting done or doing that I need to do.  How in the world am I going to get miles in this week?  Luckily, it's a recovery week, so we'll run only 12 miles on Saturday.  So, really, of all times to get sick, this is the best time.  This coming Saturday is 12 miles, the following is our longest before the marathon - 20 miles.  Then two weeks of tapering miles.  Then on November 12th, the marathon - all 26.2 miles of it.  Kinda hard to think about, really.

So, I think this will be my last marathon for a while.  I've already decided I'm not going to do it again next year.  This week alone is a perfect example of why running a marathon is too much for me.  For one, I'm sick.  Two, we have an appointment in Norfolk today to see Harlie's plastic surgeon.  Funny story... I told my night nurse that we were going to see Harlie's plastic surgeon tomorrow and she asked me what for, eye, ear?  Ha!  It's pretty comical that I have to be more specific when I say plastic surgeon.    And no, not eye or ear... jaw.  I hope Harlie has my sense of humor...

Anyway, so we'll be gone the whole day to go to Norfolk (and she'll miss school, of course).  And I can't do my long mid-week runs on Wednesdays because I'll be gone too long and will be too far from the gym to leave Cooper there while I run.  I think I have to run 9 this week.  Which means I'll have to do them on Thursday, rest Friday, run Saturday.  According to our training schedule, we're supposed to run four days a week.  I've already cut that back to three days.  And this week, I'll only run twice, and that includes my long run.  And that's if I can, considering this cold.

I'm over the pressure of having to get these runs in.  Five months of that is too much for me now.  And it would be different if I thought that running like this gave me more energy.  But the fact of the matter is that once you get up into this kind of mileage, the training drains my energy and I have very little left for Tom and the kids.  So, I just need to hang on for five more weeks.  And then it will be over.

Another reason I couldn't sleep is because I saw something on a signing website that's bothering me.  The website said that the term "hearing impaired" is considered offensive to the deaf and hard of hearing community.  And that they prefer those terms - deaf and/or hard of hearing - instead.

Personally, I've always used the term hearing impaired.  And it sounds like that's what our county uses because they call it the hearing impaired program and Harlie has a hearing impaired teacher.  And I feel like it accurately describes her hearing loss.  Here is the definition for impaired:

1. Diminished, damaged, or weakened: an impaired sense of smell.

2. Functioning poorly or incompetently: a driver so tired as to be impaired.

3. Having a physical or mental disability: an impaired child in need of special assistance.

n. (used with a pl. verb)

People who have a physical or mental disability considered as a group: a swimming class for the physically impaired.

So, what's the problem?  I see nothing offensive in that definition.  Maybe I'm desensitized because Harlie has so many issues with so many different body parts and functions.  I don't know.  But, I don't get it.

I was so bothered by it, that after I initially tried to go to sleep, I got back up to google why the term hearing impaired was offensive.  And here is what I found:

Hearing-impaired – This term was at one time preferred, largely because it was viewed as politically correct.  To declare oneself or another person as deaf or blind, for example, was considered somewhat bold, rude, or impolite.  At that time, it was thought better to use the word “impaired” along with “visually,” “hearing,” “mobility,” and so on.  “Hearing-impaired” was a well-meaning term that is not accepted or used by many deaf and hard of hearing people.

For many people, the words “deaf” and “hard of hearing” are not negative.  Instead, the term “hearing-impaired” is viewed as negative.  The term focuses on what people can’t do.  It establishes the standard as “hearing” and anything different as “impaired,” or substandard, hindered, or damaged.  It implies that something is not as it should be and ought to be fixed if possible.  To be fair, this is probably not what people intended to convey by the term “hearing impaired.” 

Every individual is unique, but there is one thing we all have in common:  we all want to be treated with respect.  To the best of our own unique abilities, we have families, friends, communities, and lives that are just as fulfilling as anyone else.  We may be different, but we are not less. 

I just don't get it.  This is the part that stands out most for me.

It establishes the standard as “hearing” and anything different as “impaired,” or substandard, hindered, or damaged.  It implies that something is not as it should be and ought to be fixed if possible.  

Who put the "standard" part in there?  Who says hearing is standard, and not hearing means substandard?  That's negative.  Not the use of the word impaired.  And her heart doesn't function like it should.  Should we not have fixed that?  And no, her hearing isn't as it should be because your ears are made for hearing.  And she's missing an entire ear and the other one is damaged, diminished or weakened.  There.  I said it.  And to try to fix that, we got her a hearing aid.  And we're going to get her a BAHA if that helps her hear better, too!

In another paragraph, it read that the term "hearing loss" isn't liked either because for people born deaf, they never had hearing, so they didn't lose it.

Look, let's face it.  Harlie was born with many birth defects.  I suppose the word defect is probably offensive, too.  The list of offensive terms is getting ridiculous.  Other words that offend some people are special (when referring to children and their needs), and normal (what's normal, after all?).  I'm not bothered by any of them.

Harlie is special.  Her body functions differently than the norm, differently than it is supposed to.  And she has special needs - a nurse and a tube in her throat in order to breathe.

I'm getting off subject.  Before Harlie, I had never met a person who was deaf, or hard of hearing.  Which, by the way, I don't like "hard of hearing".  To me, that sounds like a volume issue.  Anyway, since Harlie, of course, I've met some signing people (all hearing) and I had the pleasure of meeting a deaf couple this summer.  I signed a little - an interpreter was there and she introduced us.  I was so proud of the signs that I knew.  And I was so proud that out of all the people that were there, I was one who knew some signs.  Then I heard that there is a sign for "stupid hearing people".  Now that's offensive.  But, okay, fine.  I felt pretty darn stupid when I was trying to sign with that couple.  But I would have felt the same kind of stupid if I were trying to talk to someone who speaks spanish.  I don't know that language, either.  Doesn't mean I'm not capable of learning, though.  But, whatever.

I think what bothers me most is that I've been using a term for years - one that I am completely comfortable with - that's considered offensive by a whole community.  I don't want to offend anyone.  But I feel this need to help other people understand Harlie's issues.  And I feel that hearing impaired accurately describes her hearing loss.  And it is a loss.  I don't care if she was born that way or not.  And her life is more difficult because of that loss.  Trust me.  I have seen her struggle in class.  The loss of normal hearing is having a profound impact on what and how she learns and how she acts.

And what kind of mother would I be if I didn't try to do everything in my power to help her???  I keep going back to that sentence -  It implies that something is not as it should be and ought to be fixed if possible.

Her heart.
Her jaw.
Her right lung.
Her butt.
Her spine.
Her inability to eat.
And her hearing.

All things that are not as they should be and ought to be fixed if possible.

She is not substandard.  And she is not less of a person because of her losses.  I don't see how anyone could think those things - about anyone.  And I don't see how the term hearing impaired implies any of those things at all.

So, now I'm left wondering what I do from here?  Do I continue to use a term that's known as offensive to people that I don't even know?  Or do I start using Hard of Hearing (which I don't like)?  And frankly, I'm pissed that I even have to think about this.  Like I don't have enough of my mind!  Sadly, it seems that a website that is meant to offer support, only added to my stress and worries.  I'm sticking with what I'm comfortable with for now.  Harlie is hearing impaired and I think she is an extraordinary little girl.

Thanks,
Christy

It's that time of year again...

Marathon training has officially begun.  Well, like three weeks ago.  That's how behind I am in blogging.  I can't believe how busy my days have been - and things are only going to get worse!  We have a very busy summer scheduled.  But I am hopeful that our hard work this summer will pay off with major progress!!  Only time will tell.

So, back on June 4th - we officially started training for the Richmond Marathon (in November).

Me, Heather, Allison, Niki, and Lauren

Our group is missing a few girls from last year (Anna, Mary Curtis and Kat).  Kat is expecting a baby (congratulations to her!) and Anna and Mary Curtis couldn't be there that Saturday.  Plus, some of the girls are going to train with a different team (moving up to intermediate training vs. novice).  Some of us ran with the intermediate team this past Saturday and did 8 miles.  The intermediate team logs way more miles than novice, and I just can't squeeze anymore miles in.  So, I'm sticking with novice again this year.  Plus, running with the novice group allows for a lot more socializing, which is a MUST for me.  So, it will be an interesting training season with our group split up.

I must say that I am very happy to have the focus of training again.  It feels good.  I am going to try something different this year.  I am going to replace some running miles with strength training.  I'm hoping that will help keep me injury free this year.  We'll see how it works out...

Okay, that's it for this subject.  I think I might try to write another blog post.

Thanks!
~Christy

Marathon Recap

Ahhh, race day. The day we've been training for since June! SO exciting! I started the day feeling so lucky to be a part of it all. This race, this experience, and most importantly, this group of girls...

Bottom row: Mary Curtis and me.

Top row: Anna, Kat, Niki, Heather and Allison

Look at how happy we all were...before the pain.

The race started at 8am. We met at 6:30am and after hanging out in the warmth, headed up for a large group photo of the entire training team. Then it was time to go potty that last time before the start. Hello, potty lines!!!

We checked our bags (so no more pictures) and headed to the start. It was pretty darn cold, but the forecast said it was going to be 65 by noon (which is pretty warm to run in - I've always heard to add 20 degrees, because that's what it will feel like when you're running). So, you have to start wearing clothes you don't really care about so you can throw them to the side when you start to warm up.

Before I go any further, I'd like to give you some information.

1. A marathon is 26.2 miles.
2. I had issues with my IT band beginning in October. It hurt like hell. So, I decided to try going to a chiropractor. He said my left hip (ITB issues on left side) was lower than my right and made some adjustments. It worked! I ran my 20 miler with NO issues and felt great for every run thereafter.
3. This is going to be long. Sorry. I had no idea I would have so much to share! It was such a BIG day!

So, we started at 8:03am and spent the next several miles laughing. We ran with one of our coaches, Marc, and he helped set our pace at 10-minute miles. He also helped take care of putting our jackets in the bin that would make it back to the start so we could recollect them. The gloves and shirts, we threw to the side when we were done with them. It was really crowded. For some reason, I expected it to thin out a bit. I don't know why.

I knew that Tom, Jennifer and the kids were going to be at Mile 4, but I didn’t know which side of the street.

Unfortunately, it was right at a turn and I got pushed to the outer side of the crowd and Tom and the kids were on the inner side. I saw the stroller and the “run mommy run” poster out the corner of my eye, and then Tom came running beside me taking pictures.

Here are four of us, waving. It was so fun to have someone to cheer us on!

I was so sad that I didn’t get to see the kids and they didn’t get to see me. They told me later that Murphy cried because they missed me.

After that, Jennifer took the little ones home and Murphy and Tom spent the next four hours finding me along the course.

I saw them next at Mile 6. Murphy ran along side us for a little while and everyone (even strangers) got a kick out of that. Runners love and need support.  So, any time you see an enthusiastic supporter it is energizing, fun and so appreciated!

At the water stops, we did our own little roll call to make sure we had everyone. Our plan was to stick together at a 10-minute per mile pace until mile 10 or so. Then we could do whatever our bodies wanted/needed to do and it was every man for himself.

At Mile 8, I saw Tom and Murphy again. And then I saw my Mom and Dad, and my brother, Bruce, his wife, Nancy and their daughter Maggie (Nancy and Maggie ran the 8k that morning). It was so great to see them all.

My group of friends really appreciated the support, too. They said I won best support group!

My family appeared again at Mile 11. Tom took some pics of Murphy giving some five's. So cute to see him getting into the fun!

See how excited we all were to see them again? Look at Kat leaning over to give Murphy five!

Heather and Mary Curtis are behind the guy in the white shirt. Such a shame, because it would have been a pic of all of us together (except for Niki, who had IT band pain beginning at Mile 5!!! What a fighter she is!)

Mile 8 through 11 are pretty hilly. And the down hills are pretty steep. While that sounds great, it is actually hard on your legs and feet to control your speed going down hill. And, in my case, it is hard on my IT band. At Mile 11, I started to feel it. And my heart sank. I knew that it was going to get worse, and I knew that the rest of the run was going to be HARD because of it. It was going to be hard regardless, but this was NOT going to help!

I did my best to ignore it and tell myself that it didn’t hurt. Mind over matter I said to myself. At the next water stop, I decided to refill both of my water bottles. I was putting water in one, and Powerade in the other.  You need both hands to refill one bottle. So, looking back, I should have only refilled one at a time. But, I didn’t want to risk going another two miles. So, I lost my group while I was refilling. It took a couple of blocks or so to catch up, which didn’t help my IT band.

At Mile 13, I saw my friends Allison and John. Allison had just run the half marathon that morning and did it in an incredible 1 hour and 38 minutes! That’s a 7:31 pace! Congratulations Allison!!!! She jumped in and ran beside me for a few minutes. She told me I looked great. I can’t remember if I told her about my IT band. I might have told her because she’s had IT band issues in the past and knows about mine. Or I might not have told her, trying to convince myself it was fine. Saying out loud might have made it more real.

Just a few minutes after that, I lost my group. I fell behind and that was very disappointing.

While my ultimate goal was to finish (and have a fun, great experience in the process) I wanted to keep up with my group for as long as possible. Three of them had time goals in mind (wanted to beat their times from last year’s marathon) so I knew I wouldn’t finish with them. So, deep down, my goal was to finish in what they finished last year (about 4 and a half hours) - as first timers. I thought that was a more realistic goal.

At mile 14 it finally started to thin out and I found Allison. So, we stuck together for the next several miles, over the Lee Bridge, which I hear can be hard. It was very nice for us to be together. On the bridge I saw our coach, Marc. He asked me how was I doing, and I was honest and told him that my IT band was hurting and I was struggling. He was awesome and asked me if he could get me some water or anything. I think I just needed to be able to tell him that I was hurting - and hear something encouraging from him. And that helped.

Oh! And while running with him, I made eye contact with a man standing on the side of the road. I don’t know why. He wasn’t doing anything special, just standing there. He looked right at me and it was like he could tell I wasn’t doing well, so he smiled and clapped for me and I smiled back. Then Marc hit me on the arm and said, “You just got cheered on by Bart Yasso!”

At mile 17, I saw Tom and Murphy again.

Tom could tell I wasn’t loving it anymore.  He ran with me for a minute and said, "Don't quit.  Your little girl doesn't quit." And my friend, Bethany, jumped in to run with me until Mile 25. That was planned. And I was definitely looking forward to seeing her smiling, supportive face.

My inexperience lead me to think that since I ran 20 miles a few weeks ago (keeping up with my group) and feeling great (no IT band issues) that I would feel the same way until Mile 20 again, and the hurting would start then. That was stupid. Because one thing about running that makes it so challenging/great is that every run is a new run - a clean slate, if you will. So, you can have a great run one day, and a terrible one the next. Some days, you can go out for an easy 4 miles and it could feel like you’ve never run a mile before.

Regardless, I wasn’t expecting to start struggling so early in the run.  Mile 11 is still so early in the marathon. And to know that you’ve got to run through pain for more than 15 more miles is incredibly daunting and disappointing.

So, Bethany joined in and immediately started telling me stuff I needed to hear. I couldn’t really talk at this point. I wasn’t running too fast (trust me on that one), but all my energy was focused on telling myself that I didn’t hurt that bad (when I really did!).

I can’t tell you how helpful it was to have Bethany by my side for those eight miles. She just kept on telling me that while I might not have felt strong, I looked strong and no one else could tell I was hurting. I kept telling myself that if I looked strong, I must be strong.

Between Miles 17 and 18, we found another one from our group, Anna. I introduced them to Bethany and she made fun of me for being so polite. It was cute. And funny, but I couldn’t laugh anymore, which was sad. I really enjoy laughing.

So, it was me, Allison and Anna (and Bethany, of course). Anna had to stop and stretch her legs a few times and we all had to walk through the water stops. While I didn’t want anyone else to struggle, either, it was comforting to know I wasn’t alone.

Bethany told me that so many people hit the wall at Mile 18, and if I could just make it through I would be home free. She kept giving me goals to run to (like let’s just make it to the next stop light or whatever). That’s a common thing that runners do to break down the miles into something more manageable mentally. The thing is that I’ve NEVER had to do that. I have never been in a situation where I had to push myself like that. So, that goes to tell you that I was in new territory - even though I had already run that distance before.

I think when we turned onto the Boulevard (about Mile 18) we lost Allison and Anna for good. Meaning that they were in front, and we didn’t see them again. That might sound like it was sad for me - but I can't tell you how happy I was to see my group do so well. Such a great group of girls!!!

Between Miles 19 and 20, we passed the stadium (our start and finish for our training team since June). We all knew mentally that passing the stadium would be hard. There is a hill right before the stadium, and that hill marks the end of our training runs. But, this time, we had to run the hill and continue running for another 6.2 miles (about an hour’s time)!!! But, I ran the hill like nothing and that was a nice boost.

At Mile 21, I saw Tom and Murphy again and our friends, Mike and Marcy. At this point I was hurting so bad, I was getting blurry. Evidently Murphy offered me a cup of water and all I did was shake my head “no” and keep going. I don’t really remember to be honest.

What I didn’t know is that they had been there for over 30 minutes and Murphy started handing out water at that water stop. He wanted everyone to take his water - so he kept moving up to be the first one that the runners would get to, so they would take his water. Kids are so funny. Tom said that when Murphy saw me he was so excited to be able to hand me water and then I just shook my head no and ran past. Then he started crying. Ugh. Poor kid. I clearly had no idea.  I was just trying to keep one foot in front of the other.

So, Murphy tried to run to catch me, and couldn’t, which made him even more sad. So, Tom had to pick him up and carry him to catch up. Which they did and I said hello or something and he was okay.

Starting at Mile 22, I started to feel nauseous. There were numerous times I looked to the side to see where I could yak, if necessary. I think all the water, Powerade and sport gels were taking its toll on my stomach. Not to mention the pain in my knee.

I saw my Mom and Dad at Mile 23. They had a poster and it was so fun to see them again. I had to dig deep to find the energy to wave and smile. But that’s what helps. The support makes you find energy you didn’t know you had. One supporter along this stretch of the road was yelling, “take some of my energy and use it!” It was great.

Since we had our names written on our shirts, people were constantly saying, “go Christy!” It was awesome. And I so needed it for the next several miles.

Sometime during Mile 23, I took off my fuel belt and handed it to Bethany. I couldn’t drink another drop, so I just wanted the weight of the belt gone. I thought she would just put it on, but she carried it. I wanted to tell her to put it on - but I couldn’t. Isn’t that crazy?

 I think it was at this point I saw another coach, Chelle. She ran with us, too. She was so supportive. And Bethany had to speak for me. She told her that I was doing great. So funny how our definition of "great" changes depending on the situation! Bethany also told me that I was going to have to "gut it out" - another thing I held on to those last miles.

At Mile 24 or 25, I saw another coach, Shawn. He was running against the flow looking for yellow shirts and saw me and turned around to run with me for a few minutes. He asked me how I was doing, and I told him I was hurting. He said, “I know it hurts, but you have to keep going.”

There was something about the way he said “I know it hurts.” I was feeling so weak hurting like that and him saying that to me told me that it was okay. That it wasn’t a weakness within me - it was just the way it feels to run a marathon. I can’t tell you how much that helped.

There were definitely people walking and stopping to stretch. I just kept telling myself that it felt better to run than to walk (even though my body was telling me something very different) and that I would get to the finish faster if I just kept running. I think I might have said I couldn’t do it or something and they said I could. Bethany told me I was still right on pace for my goal time.

I think at this point I wanted to cry. But, I didn’t have the energy. I honestly never thought about quitting. I knew I would not quit (even though my body totally wanted me to!). But, I was afraid I would start to walk more than run and that I wouldn’t be able to run that last bit with everyone watching. The thought of me having to walk through the finish was unbearable. So, I kept running.

I knew Bethany was going to leave me at Mile 25 (Miles 17 and 25 are only a few blocks from each other, so it worked out best for her to park between the two) and I will admit that I was feeling afraid. I didn’t know if I could run the next 1.2 miles without her! She must have sensed it too, because she ran past the Mile 25 marker and stayed with me for a few minutes more.  When she saw the stop light that marked our turn onto Cary Street (the home stretch) she called Tom (yes, she carried her cell) and told him I was about to come around the bend.  She told me I could do it and left. I could only sign “thank you” and “I love you” and kept going.

Turning onto Cary street makes me cry now just thinking about it. I knew that I couldn’t stop to walk at this point. The crowd was awesome and I felt like I was alone because it felt like everyone was yelling my name, shouting, “you’re almost there, Christy!”, “Christy, you’re looking great!”, “Christy, you did it!”, etc. I just wanted to smile and look like I wasn’t going to die.  It's funny, because I don't remember seeing another runner at that time. Then I saw the pictures...

You might have to click on the picture to see me. But, you can clearly see that I wasn't alone! Makes me laugh thinking about it!

I started to look on both sides, looking for Tom. I saw him on my right with my friend Allison (Harlie’s feeding therapist). They were cheering and it was so moving to have so much support!

When I envisioned myself crossing the finish line, my arms were up in the air.  I know, I'm a total dork. So, I just concentrated on doing that, and smiling. My Dad said that the announcer said my name when I crossed the finish line, but I didn’t hear it (because I was trying not to die). Pretty cool that they did that, bummer that I couldn’t hear it.

I was DONE 4 hours, 34 minutes and 18 seconds after starting.  I wanted to sit so bad, but there’s no place until you get out of the gate. In the crowd I didn’t know how I was going to find anyone. I found a curb and sat my butt down. Put my knees up, and put my head down and cried for about 5 seconds (that’s all I had the energy for). And I don’t care. I was so proud of myself and oh, so glad to be done!

Just then I saw the bottom of the poster that Tom made go by. I looked up and it was my Dad who just walked by, but didn’t see me. I yelled for him, but he couldn’t hear me. So I had to get up and go get him.

Then my Mom, Tom, Allison and her family appeared. Miraculously, some of us found each other so we got some pics.

My Dad, me, Murphy and my Mom.

Natalie, Heather, Kat and me.

We had all planned to meet at a restaurant down the street for a beer. So, on our way there I got to see so many people that I knew. It was so great to see all my friends and to congratulate each other.  Amazing considering it was such a large crowd.

At the restaurant, I had to check out my foot. At about Mile 13, I could feel some rubbing in the same place where I’ve gotten a blister before. I knew it was going to be bad, but never expected this:

Ouch!! I almost screamed when I saw it. It was way worse in person. Trust me! Everyone asked me if I could feel it while running. Yes, but there’s nothing you can do, and the pain on my skin like that was totally bearable. That was not my problem for sure. I guess it paled in comparison to my knee so I ignored it. Although, looking back, I remember thinking that I wanted to take off my shoes and run in my socks. One thing that kept me from doing it was the thought that I would have to carry my shoes, which would have looked really stupid. But, it goes to show that somewhere in my mind I wasn't able to completely ignore that pain.

After a beer and some good laughs, we left the restaurant and went home. Tom stopped to get some ice. Just six bags. No biggie. Then I took an ice bath. I wasn’t planning on it - but I knew my IT band needed it. At this point it was agony to bend my left knee at all.

At 6:30pm we left to meet everyone for a celebratory dinner.

From left: Neal, Natalie, me, Mary Curtis, Heather, Kat, Allison and Anna.

It was so much fun to share stories of what happened along the course.

My family got a kick out of cheering my group on - looking for the green duct tape. And my friends got a kick out of having a cheering section. It was just great.

All in all, I saw Tom a total of nine times - at Miles, 4, 6, 8, 11, 12, 13, 17, 21 and the finish. Isn't that amazing? What a great guy for busting his butt and navigating closed roads and crowds to support me the whole way!!!

And lastly, some funny stuff that I want to share:

From Kat - a friend of hers asked, “so how long is this marathon?”

From Natalie: Her mom asked her, “So do they have water stops?”

And Heather and Neal's babysitter (who has been watching their kids almost every Saturday during the past six months of training) posted on Facebook: "Good luck to Heather and Neal, who are running the Ukrops 10k!" For those of you not local, the Ukrop's 10k (just 6.2 miles - not 26.2 miles) is in the spring here in Richmond.

From Natalie: Sometime in the 20-mile range asked the person next to her, “Am I running?” They said, "Yes, you are."

Natalie provided lots of laughs. She took off her gloves at mile 4, but wasn't entirely sure she was done with them, so put them in her sports bra - and completely forgot about it. They stayed there the entire run, which was not what she intended!

From Tom: Getting into the car to come home I noticed some clothing items with which I wasn't familiar. I held up a North Face hat and asked him whose it was. Tom smiled excitedly and said, "I can't believe what people will throw away!" And then he told me that he picked up about 30 Accel gels that were unopened on the ground. "They are over a dollar a piece!" he exclaimed.

I know you are probably sick of hearing it by now (if you're even still reading) - but I am so darn proud of myself and all my fellow marathoners.  Ah!  I'm a Marathoner!  And I am so lucky to have so many supportive people in my life.  I loved doing the training with the Sportsbackers and all the support they and the coaches provided.  It was an amazing experience.  And I can't wait to do it again!  Okay, maybe I can wait a little while.   But I am definitely doing it again!

Thank you for making it this far!
~Christy