The main problem is the circled 86, which is circled by a pink marker.
So, the question is... Why are her sats so low leaving her lungs?
And that means it's not her heart. It's her lungs. UGH!!! This was actually my fear before the heart cath. I just felt like her heart was probably more "fixable" than her lungs. If the lungs don't work, I don't think there's much you can do about it. While her heart is jacked up, but it "works" because they did a bunch of stuff to it, you know? Plus, all of a sudden, I felt very unprepared. I was all ready to learn about pressures and crap, and then I had to change gears. And wait two weeks to talk about it again. So frustrating.
I can't remember if her cardiologist said that her pressures of 24 are an after-affect from the low sats or not. Or maybe they are just 24, just because that's her. I can't remember. I suppose it doesn't matter for now. He did say that she has early elevated Fontan pressures. The pressures go up in time, that's normal. He said that kids 16 years old and up have pressures in the 20s. She's 7 and hers is 24. But, one can live with high pressures. So, that's not the main issue right now.
So, now we have to see her pulmonologist to see what tests we can do to find out what her lung function actually is.
For those that don't know, Harlie had a chest mass in or around her right lung. The right lung is made up of three lobes and the left is made of two lobes. During my pregnancy with her, they found the lung mass and it was preventing the normal growth of her right lung. After her birth, it became a back burner item, until she was about 8 months old. The mass was still growing and it had begun to squish her good lung, compromising its function. So, the mass had to come out and in August of 2007 (she was 10 months old at the time) they removed two of her right lung lobes. They were able to leave one lobe. And after that, she did much better. She was finally able to come off oxygen (after a full year on it) and was able to learn to sit up and crawl. Life really took off for her after that.
But now, is that one lobe doing more harm than good? Is it permanently damaged? Should it be removed?
We see her pulmonologist next Thursday. And we'll go from there.
The whole thing is frustrating. I just wish she could get a break. It seems we are always having to worry about a life-requiring issue (heart, lungs, airway).
Managing her care (from my perspective as her mother) has become very overwhelming. I have moments when I am confident in my decisions and my observations. And I have moments when I am NOT. And in her case now, her symptoms are not black and white. Everything is grey and open to interpretation. What if I misinterpret something?
I try to remember the times where I feel confident in what I interpret... for example, we took Harlie to the bowling alley a few weeks ago. It was a fundraiser for the Deep Run High School Marathon Dance. Brandy was with us and was focusing on Harlie while I talked (as usual). Brandy started to notice that Harlie would walk up to the ball return and stop and rest. Then pick up the ball, and stop and rest. Then walk - slowly - and bowl. Then rest. So, she made her sit down and she checked her sats. ON oxygen, they were 76!!! Obviously, that's a sat she just can't tolerate.
So, clearly she NEEDS the oxygen.
Did I ever tell you about her not being able to digest her food when I was experimenting with her oxygen needs? Well, just in case I did, I'll make it short - I wanted to see if she could tolerate lower sats, without the oxygen. Her sats seemed to hang out in the low 80s (which I didn't think was that bad) without the oxygen. But, after a few days, her body wasn't able to process her formula and I couldn't get in all four cans in a day. So, her body was sending oxygen to main organs (and not as much to her GI system). So, that means she cannot tolerate low 80s sats.
You'd think I'd be confident by now. But it's scary to have to be the one to have to notice everything and know whether that thing is important or not.
Anyway, I don't know how definitive the tests and/or any answers are going to be. One confusing thing is that he said she needs a CT scan of her lungs. She had one back in June of 2013. Lucikly, here in Richmond. So her doc was able to pull it up and read the report. It doesn't say much other than that her lungs are in better shape than they were in 2007. Maybe if they did another one, or had that one from June re-read, with the radiologist knowing that her sats are low leaving her lungs, that would make a difference? At least now we know what to look for.
Her cardiologist said that we will have to let her symptoms guide us and maybe make some decisions on faith instead of hard data. Which is how we made the decision to remove the bad lung tissue. He was the one that said it had to come out - and from what I remember, not every doc was in agreement at the time. Yet, that proved to be the right call.
So, that's heavy on my mind. And again, I find myself wishing time away. Wanting to hurry up and just get to that next appointment, that next surgery, that next... whatever. It's really a terrible way to live. And I wonder when we'll get to place of just... living.
Another thing that's heavy on my mind is my Mom. A few weeks ago she found out she has a bit of breast cancer. We're really focused on the "bit" part. Of course I don't think that's a real, medical term. But, I'm making it one in this case. She is scheduled for a lumpectomy tomorrow. So, that's a good sign. And her surgeon said it's the kind that responds well to hormones, so that's good as far as after treatment goes. And it did not get into any lymph nodes. We all feel positive that this won't be that big of a deal, really. Just a small amount of time that was uncomfortable (she had a bunch of biopsies and an MRI) and a bit scary. As long as that time stays small, all is good!
And to end on a more positive note, I have two more funny Harlie stories for you.
The other day Harlie wanted to play on the iPad. She signs and says "game" at the same time. Tom told her no, and to go play with toys. With electronics around all the time, the toys just lay around untouched more than we like. So, Harlie was clearly disappointed and went and sat in the living room for a few minutes. Then she said, "Daddy" and pointed to her Vest treatment machine. He said, "Oh, you want your Vest treatment?" This was surprising. She never wants her treatment. So, he was like hell yeah you can have your treatment and went and got her Vest on. He said that the second that last buckle was buckled, she looked at him with a smirk and signed and said, "Game."
That little sneak!!! She knows she can have her iPad while she's getting a vest treatment. You should have seen Tom's face when he realized that he'd just been had by a seven year old! We were so damn proud. That girl is one smart cookie! I realize that this behavior is something that most kids do and most parents aren't as thrilled. But, you have a different appreciation for this kind of thinking when your kid doesn't learn to read before first grade. Or talk. Or isn't pegged as talented and gifted at age five.
Then, the other night after I had tucked her in and went back downstairs (and JUST sat down, of course) her heated trach collar equipment started to alarm. So, I had to go back up there to see what was the matter. And the second I walked into her room, the alarm stopped and she sat up and said, "medicine." So, she figured out how to get the machine to alarm, knowing that I would have to come up there. She is something.
I have to tell you that for YEARS I have read about kids doing stuff like this (on the trach board and Facebook) and I have always wanted Harlie to be able to do that stuff, too. Another proud moment. Of course, as my dear friend Sarah said, cute at first, not so funny later on. I suppose she's right about that. But, my other kids can scream my name, or jump out of bed and come down and bug us. This is just Harlie's way of doing that. And she should have a way, too.
Well, that's it for now. More later!
Much love,
Christy xo
2 comments:
Well I am sorry you don't have more definite answers, but you guys will be in my prayers as you decide what needs to be done. And I love reading those stories. Really, really warms my heart. =)
Christy I wish there were clearer answers for Harlie's medical situation. I think you know far more than you give yourself credit for and I doubt you are missing anything. I know it's hard to have faith in the medical system. I know it's exhausting but you are doing a great job.
I had to laugh hearing about Harlie. Ainsley has been doing that a lot lately. In her case she signs DVD when pointing to her left over lunch, then sticks out her lower lip when we sit her down to eat it after school. She's negotiating a video for eating. It's fantastically normal stuff! I loved hearing about Harlie's verbal gains as well. Hugs to Tom. There are moments that this life is so hard. XOXO Love you guys.
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